This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
