I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
