So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
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