I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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