I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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