that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just want to make out with him forever
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
