the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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