And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The Olympian is in my bed
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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