I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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