You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize