was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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