I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
