I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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