Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
