smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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