There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
that may or may not have been my penis.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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