Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
even my farts smell like vagina
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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