Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
