My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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