Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now

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(207): View more from Maine

We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.

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(503): View more from Oregon

when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on

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(650): View more from California

just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.

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(207): View more from Maine

he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead

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(248): View more from Michigan

Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars

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(708): View more from Illinois

So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.

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(636): View more from Missouri

Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha

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