you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?