Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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