No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
