i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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