Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
