no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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