Having a random hookup so left but love u
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
