he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
