John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
