You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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