it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I think people are normalizing furries
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
