I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I will be naked everywhere
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
