$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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