i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize