I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
