I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
