And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
