Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
