okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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