Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
