You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
