I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
