I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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