idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
