I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
