Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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