And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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