In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
