Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
