yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
