i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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