benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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