i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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