end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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