dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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