allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
