dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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