You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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