I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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