I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
ttyl tear gas
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
