summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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