i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
