My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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