I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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