Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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