i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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